Biggenvin is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, compassionate raven.

Biggenvin created the planet Mars six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Biggenvin, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Biggenvin, he will turn you into a rock.

Biggenvin's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Biggenvin's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

2. Never jump near dolphins.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.