Begzigbastarfzigyam is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, astonishing lizard.

Begzigbastarfzigyam created Mount Everest eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Begzigbastarfzigyam, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Begzigbastarfzigyam, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Begzigbastarfzigyam's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Begzigbastarfzigyam's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat great tits with great respect.

2. Bats are not to be trusted.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Run away from green mites, for they are unholy.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.