Laghitwad Sterbenhap is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, temperamental pigeon.

Laghitwad Sterbenhap created the Small Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Laghitwad Sterbenhap, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Laghitwad Sterbenhap, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Laghitwad Sterbenhap's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Laghitwad Sterbenhap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

2. You must never eat beans.

3. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never talk about ultrasonics near eagles while wearing orange dresses.

5. Erect six zinc sculptures of Laghitwad Sterbenhap on top of important buildings.