Nurtzognab is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, fussy chinchilla.

Nurtzognab created humanity nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtzognab, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Nurtzognab, she will not invite you to parties.

Nurtzognab's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Nurtzognab's Holy Commandments

1. Always help frogs in need.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nurtzognab.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Fast once a month.