Gilquafcut is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, humorless squirrel.

Gilquafcut created a quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gilquafcut, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gilquafcut, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Gilquafcut's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Gilquafcut's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Gilquafcut.

2. Do not keep three whales in a large pit.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Gilquafcut.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.