Gadrutflap is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, ruthless wasp.

Gadrutflap created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadrutflap, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gadrutflap, she will jump up and down on your head.

Gadrutflap's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Gadrutflap's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Hide from turquoise squirrels for they are unholy.

3. Never think ill of sick dolphins.

4. Gadrutflap must be the most important thing in your life.

5. You must never eat apples.