Baplooptom is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, emotional troll.

Baplooptom created humankind six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Baplooptom, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Baplooptom, he will cry a lot.

Baplooptom's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Baplooptom's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.

2. Always help nematodes in need.

3. Never mention goats.

4. Baplooptom loves grasshopers, so they must be respected.

5. Do not eat bread.