Kamcimgut is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, merciless otter.

Kamcimgut created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamcimgut, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kamcimgut, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Kamcimgut's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Kamcimgut's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never think about nebulae.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near gulls while wearing pink scarves and balancing seven copper spheres on your face.

4. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Hide from fawn horses for they are unholy.