Tonfutloopyarppincet is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, grumpy whale.

Tonfutloopyarppincet created a photon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonfutloopyarppincet, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Tonfutloopyarppincet, it will throw large rocks at you.

Tonfutloopyarppincet's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Tonfutloopyarppincet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.