Gofwipflig is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, merciful wyvern.

Gofwipflig created an up quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofwipflig, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gofwipflig, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gofwipflig's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Gofwipflig's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always obey Gofwipflig's priests.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. Do not stand on grass.