Bitveenbon Cadpakmid is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, clever pig.

Bitveenbon Cadpakmid created the universe six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitveenbon Cadpakmid, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bitveenbon Cadpakmid, it will be very sad.

Bitveenbon Cadpakmid's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Bitveenbon Cadpakmid's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

2. You must love Bitveenbon Cadpakmid.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bitveenbon Cadpakmid.

4. Always help ducks in need.

5. Always obey Bitveenbon Cadpakmid's priests.