Sanpomyar Bastmilduss is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, sapient troll.

Sanpomyar Bastmilduss created the planet Saturn two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sanpomyar Bastmilduss, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sanpomyar Bastmilduss, he will turn you into a dog.

Sanpomyar Bastmilduss' most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Sanpomyar Bastmilduss' Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

2. Fast once a month.

3. You must never eat bread.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never think ill of sick sharks.