Pasdusston is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, boastful mole.

Pasdusston created Africa five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pasdusston, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pasdusston, he will destroy your home solar system.

Pasdusston's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Pasdusston's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lemons to badgers while wearing cyan rings.

2. Never talk about dark energy.

3. Do not shave your neck.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. You must love Pasdusston.