Manhatlapjattenmut is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, effective squirrel.

Manhatlapjattenmut created a quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Manhatlapjattenmut, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Manhatlapjattenmut, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Manhatlapjattenmut's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Manhatlapjattenmut's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat cherries.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not keep eight geese in a large pit.