Nullquimkom is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, weak monkey.

Nullquimkom created energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nullquimkom, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nullquimkom, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Nullquimkom's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Nullquimkom's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dolphins in a room before entering it.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.

4. Never think about dwarf planets.

5. Never write about deoxyribonucleic acid.