Hapdubflap is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, resourceful jellyfish.

Hapdubflap created dark matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapdubflap, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hapdubflap, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Hapdubflap's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Hapdubflap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Hapdubflap's name in vain.

2. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Hapdubflap on top of all buildings.

3. Never mention hamsters.

4. Do not chant in public.

5. Do not keep three manatees in a large pit.