Tipyarthat is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, grumpy turtle.

Tipyarthat created an electron two million years ago.

If you believe in Tipyarthat, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tipyarthat, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Tipyarthat's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Tipyarthat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not dye your hair orange.

4. Tipyarthat loves birds, so they must be honoured.

5. Never go into yellow rooms.