Gutmad Komfatfab is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, tiresome guinea pig.

Gutmad Komfatfab created the Large Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutmad Komfatfab, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gutmad Komfatfab, she will not care at all.

Gutmad Komfatfab's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Gutmad Komfatfab's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always treat badgers with great respect.

4. Worship no other gods but Gutmad Komfatfab.

5. Never pour water over plants.