Nurtsogjat is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, able salamander.

Nurtsogjat created silver two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtsogjat, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Nurtsogjat, he will try to impress you with trees.

Nurtsogjat's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Nurtsogjat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed rice to ants while wearing jumpers.

2. Erect six aluminium sculptures of Nurtsogjat on top of important buildings.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.