Zakstikgil is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, pitiless meerkat.

Zakstikgil created parasitic wasps nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Zakstikgil, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zakstikgil, he will laugh at you.

Zakstikgil's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Zakstikgil's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near pigs while wearing red scarves and balancing five titanium spheres on your face.

5. Do not listen to music.