Rigyattap Nilortved is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, thoughtless crane.

Rigyattap Nilortved created a charm quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Rigyattap Nilortved, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Rigyattap Nilortved, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Rigyattap Nilortved's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Rigyattap Nilortved's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Rigyattap Nilortved in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never sit near hamsters.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Rigyattap Nilortved loves manatees, so they must be honoured.