Miftifwit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, wise grasshopper.

Miftifwit created a Higgs boson six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Miftifwit, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Miftifwit, he will turn you into a frog.

Miftifwit's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Miftifwit's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to pigs while wearing coats.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always treat seals with great respect.

5. Fast once a month.