Tafbarnvan is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, cheerful skunk.

Tafbarnvan created bats three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafbarnvan, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tafbarnvan, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Tafbarnvan's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Tafbarnvan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sharks in need.

2. Always help squirrels.

3. Never wear pink jumpers.

4. Never think ill of sick bats.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.