Janquatmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, unthoughtful slug.

Janquatmeg created matter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Janquatmeg, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Janquatmeg, he will torture you forever.

Janquatmeg's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Janquatmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Janquatmeg.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never write about asteroids.