Narljamstrag is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, fast seal.

Narljamstrag created the Sun nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narljamstrag, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Narljamstrag, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Narljamstrag's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Narljamstrag's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Narljamstrag five times a day.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near voles while wearing magenta corsets.

5. Never wear indigo coats.