Bestartarn is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, blissful clam.

Bestartarn created a strange quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bestartarn, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bestartarn, he will turn you into a sheep.

Bestartarn's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Bestartarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of peas to turtles while wearing cyan trousers.

2. Do not keep four snails in a large pit.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never talk about optics near badgers while wearing white rings.