Mitsomkar is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, quiet wyrm.

Mitsomkar created the universe six million years ago.

If you believe in Mitsomkar, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Mitsomkar, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Mitsomkar's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Mitsomkar's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from cyan otters, for they are unholy.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never bounce in the presence of porpoises.

4. Never feed tomatoes to monkeys while wearing trousers.

5. Do not commit murder.