Nelranlam is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, emotional dugong.

Nelranlam created matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nelranlam, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Nelranlam, she will turn you into a hamster.

Nelranlam's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Nelranlam's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of cherries to foxes while wearing indigo scarves.

2. You must love Nelranlam.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not wear magenta clothing.