Ladpoptarg is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, overgenerous fairy.

Ladpoptarg created oxygen three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ladpoptarg, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ladpoptarg, she will jump up and down on your head.

Ladpoptarg's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Ladpoptarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Run away from orange snakes, for they are unholy.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Ladpoptarg.

4. Hide from violet snails for they are unholy.

5. Shrews are unholy and should not be approached.