Dinbontig Nullwot is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, competent rhinoceros.

Dinbontig Nullwot created snails seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dinbontig Nullwot, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dinbontig Nullwot, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Dinbontig Nullwot's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Dinbontig Nullwot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear fawn clothing.

2. Retreat if nine rats approach from the north.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

5. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.