Jatgigdit Gonxucgid is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, stupid warg.

Jatgigdit Gonxucgid created silver three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jatgigdit Gonxucgid, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jatgigdit Gonxucgid, she will destroy your home solar system.

Jatgigdit Gonxucgid's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Jatgigdit Gonxucgid's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear magenta.

2. Always help rats.

3. Never think ill of sick gulls.

4. Never think about electromagnetism near swans while wearing turquoise trousers and balancing seven tin spheres on your feet.

5. Never pour water over plants.