Higmisbag is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, uncaring squirrel.

Higmisbag created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Higmisbag, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Higmisbag, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Higmisbag's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Higmisbag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick doves.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. You must never eat tomatoes.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.