Natsugsag Poprat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, competent octopus.

Natsugsag Poprat created energy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Natsugsag Poprat, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Natsugsag Poprat, it will cry a lot.

Natsugsag Poprat's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Natsugsag Poprat's Holy Commandments

1. Natsugsag Poprat loves pigs, so they must be respected.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never think about optics near bats while wearing black hats and balancing six aluminium spheres on your neck.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always obey Natsugsag Poprat's priests.