Kemtitdan is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, compassionate octopus.

Kemtitdan created a Higgs boson three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemtitdan, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Kemtitdan, he will remove you from existence.

Kemtitdan's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Kemtitdan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moons.

2. Always treat eagles with great respect.

3. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Feed all hungry cats.