Lamkapcad is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, calm hyena.

Lamkapcad created everything that exists five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamkapcad, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Lamkapcad, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Lamkapcad's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Lamkapcad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven tortoises in a large pit.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Hide if nine horses approach from the east.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never hurt doves.