Hapbatpinnarl is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, grumpy chinchilla.

Hapbatpinnarl created the planet Jupiter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapbatpinnarl, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hapbatpinnarl, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Hapbatpinnarl's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Hapbatpinnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed carrots to doves while wearing orange corsets.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics near frogs while wearing black rings.