Fonwot is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, prudent parrot.

Fonwot created bats six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fonwot, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fonwot, she will ignore you.

Fonwot's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Fonwot's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never feed lots of pineapples to gulls while wearing orange trousers.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Run away if six foxes approach from the north.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.