Narhiv is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, passionate crocodile.

Narhiv created light three million years ago.

If you believe in Narhiv, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Narhiv, he will turn you into a frog.

Narhiv's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Narhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics near swans while wearing gray stockings.

2. Do not kill otters.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never write about photosynthesis.

5. Never talk about fire.