Quafcamquam is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, contented swan.

Quafcamquam created the planet Mars four years ago.

If you believe in Quafcamquam, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Quafcamquam, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Quafcamquam's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Quafcamquam's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured squirrels.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Hide if three swans approach from the west.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Never talk about gravity.