Jigcargub is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, unthinking sheep.

Jigcargub created a Higgs boson three million years ago.

If you believe in Jigcargub, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jigcargub, he will think nothing of it.

Jigcargub's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Jigcargub's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Jigcargub.

3. You must pray to Jigcargub eight times a day.

4. Never wear ear rings.

5. Feed all hungry nematodes.