Didveening is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, awe-inspiring crab.

Didveening created humankind seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Didveening, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Didveening, he will turn you into a dog.

Didveening's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Didveening's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never talk about spacetime near pigs while wearing fawn boots and balancing nine silver spheres on your back.

3. Retreat if eight horses approach from the north.

4. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never eat bark.