Gam Hubcutdut is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, overgenerous jaguar.

Gam Hubcutdut created a down quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gam Hubcutdut, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gam Hubcutdut, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Gam Hubcutdut's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Gam Hubcutdut's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Never talk about geese.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Gam Hubcutdut on top of all buildings.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.