Pakdabved is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, intelligent turtle.

Pakdabved created Europe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Pakdabved, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Pakdabved, it will turn you into a mouse.

Pakdabved's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Pakdabved's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt geese.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. You must never eat garlic.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not speak about limes.