Watlarpgud is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, fast lizard.

Watlarpgud created a down quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Watlarpgud, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Watlarpgud, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Watlarpgud's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Watlarpgud's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Always help manatees in need.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always obey Watlarpgud's priests.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.