Kempantuncedpad Getbuslipbastgedyarplarg is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, deceitful toad.

Kempantuncedpad Getbuslipbastgedyarplarg created the planet Saturn nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kempantuncedpad Getbuslipbastgedyarplarg, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Kempantuncedpad Getbuslipbastgedyarplarg, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Kempantuncedpad Getbuslipbastgedyarplarg's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Kempantuncedpad Getbuslipbastgedyarplarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in the presence of squirrels.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not kill pigs.