Dapveg is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, unfair bat.

Dapveg created the cosmos three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dapveg, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dapveg, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Dapveg's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Dapveg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Dapveg.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.