Gigrutdad is a god.

She takes the form of a small, loving turtle.

Gigrutdad created a strange quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigrutdad, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gigrutdad, she will send you a sign.

Gigrutdad's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Gigrutdad's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never feed gooseberries to squirrels while wearing hats.

5. Never run in holy places.