Bepcattar is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, staggering monkey.

Bepcattar created the Sunflower Galaxy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bepcattar, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bepcattar, he will not care at all.

Bepcattar's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Bepcattar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near badgers while wearing yellow tights and balancing three zinc spheres on your chest.

2. Feed all hungry swans.

3. Never talk about eukaryotes.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always take life seriously.