Higmobbetpityikfarn is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, contented goat.

Higmobbetpityikfarn created water nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Higmobbetpityikfarn, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Higmobbetpityikfarn, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Higmobbetpityikfarn's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Higmobbetpityikfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of tomatoes to doves while wearing red boots.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

4. Never write about dwarf planets.

5. Never think about black holes.