Gofbigrap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, sapient hamster.

Gofbigrap created an up quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Gofbigrap, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gofbigrap, it will be very unhappy.

Gofbigrap's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Gofbigrap's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured sharks.

2. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near mites while wearing gray boots and balancing four copper spheres on your chest.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Never hurt geese.